Kaylianne Aploon-Zokufa – Overcoming, Teaching and Loving

As a little girl growing up in Mitchell’s Plain on the Cape Flats, Kaylianne Aploon-Zokufa may have wished to have a loving family of her own one day. But it’s doubtful that she would have imagined herself with the family she has now.

A Difficult Childhood

Life was not easy for young Kaylianne. Her father was an alcoholic and drug addict, and he beat her mother and her, and, in time, her little sister who is 11 years younger than she is. She has great admiration for her mother, a nurse, who was extremely strong despite the difficult circumstances. Often her mother would take the beatings meant for the children, to protect them. Her mother joined the Church when Kaylianne was five, and then she was also baptized when she turned eight. Her mother used to ensure that she and her children had family home evening and family prayers.

Moving Out

Kaylianne didn’t want anyone at school to know what was happening at home. But during her matric year, she reached a point where she couldn’t carry on with things the way they were. She was 18, and very bright. She was determined to go to Stellenbosch University the next year. But her father was determined to prevent her from going. He wanted her to stay at home and get a job – even if it meant her failing matric. She felt support from her Young Women President that she lacked at home. In the September, just before her final matric exams, she had a very difficult Sunday. Her father prevented her from going to Church, and she prayed that if was the right thing to do, that Heavenly Father would provide a way for her to move out, and be able to attend Church. That same day, her aunt came to visit – and Kaylianne went home with her, and there she stayed.

And so she finished her matric year, traveling far to get to her school from her aunt’s house in Montana. She had to walk and take trains to get there and back. Her father was extremely angry with her, and said that she may not come home to visit her mother or sister, to both of whom she is very close. So after school she would walk down the street their house was on, in the hopes of seeing her sister. When it came to her matric dance, she made a point of going home to let her father see her, and have a picture taken of the two of them. Little did she realise then that her father was incubating TB at the time, and she put herself in contact by doing this. Her mother and sister also moved out shortly after this.

University Freedom and Illness

She passed matric – as the school’s valedictorian, and was accepted to Stellenbosch University with a bursary. She loved this new life she was leading – freedom from all the problems at home. In fact, she loved it so much that she wouldn’t tell anyone that she was getting sick, until she was so ill that she had to leave university. She was diagnosed with TB in March 2004, and she had to go home to be nursed by her mother. She was so ill that she was unable to walk again before September of that year. Her weight dropped from 60kg down to 43kg. One of her distresses was that she couldn’t even read her scriptures. She had to deal with a lot of difficult emotions that year – mainly anger. She was angry about the fact that she felt that she had lost everything she valued – her health, schooling, friends, family, home and now it was even too difficult to read the scriptures. By the end of the year her father was sick with the TB, and he started to change. She says that he is a very different man now, and now she is glad that her mother didn’t divorce him.

Determination to Get Her Education

The following year, although not 100% well yet, Kaylianne was determined to again try to make a go of studying. This time she applied to the University of Cape Town, and began working on her Bachelor of Social Science degree, majoring in Social Anthropology. Unfortunately, her chest was not doing well following her TB, and she started attending Grootte Schuur Hospital, where it was established that her one lung was totally damaged and she has been left with 2/3 function in the remaining lung. Surgery was recommended, but with the combination of medication to reduce the amount of phlegm, and faith, she has been able to come through without requiring the surgery, and is now off all medication. She still has to be careful about her chest, and easily starts a chesty cough. All this notwithstanding, at the end of 2007 she graduated with her BSocSci (Social Anthropology).

During her student years at UCT, Kaylianne did a lot of teaching in underprivileged areas through the students’ volunteer programme, SHAWCO. So when she qualified and couldn’t get a job in her anthropological field, she happily accepted a post at a private school in Cape Town. 

Prince Charming

Two and a half years ago, she met her husband, Vincent. He is a returned missionary, and when he saw her picture, he wanted to know why she was a friend of his friends, but not with him. This was quickly remedied – they met in March 2008, got engaged in June and were married and sealed in the Johannesburg Temple in October. They were both quite certain at their first meeting that they had met their eternal companion.

Marriage and …Work

Vincent, LJ and Kaylianne

But of course, happily ever after is actually quite hard work. To start with, Vincent and Kaylianne come from different cultural backgrounds – Vincent is Xhosa and Kaylianne is Coloured. Add to that the fact that in June 2008, Kaylianne started her Honours degree. She had a thesis to complete by December 2009, and in the meantime, one of the results of marriage came along  - little Lungisa Joshua (LJ) was born on 30 August 2009. So Kaylianne had to complete her thesis (“Students’ Perception of the Value of School”) with little LJ nestling at his mommy’s side. But this is one young lady who doesn’t give up when a challenge arises, even an adorable, gurgling, crying, feeding, sleeping, nappy-filling, chuckling little boy. She got her Honours degree, and guess what – in 2010 she started her Masters degree – this time in Education. She is due to complete her thesis for this in November 2011. And she sees the distinct possibility in the future that she might do her PhD.

While she enjoys teaching, and loves being with teenagers, she feels that she might perhaps be able to do more good in research. Her concern isn’t so much with what happens in the classroom, but with what happens outside the classroom. She feels that there is much to be done to help individual children if those circumstances outside the classroom are looked at.

An Unexpected Family Development

Now, back to the type of family Kaylianne might have envisaged when she was a child. It is highly unlikely that she would have imagined herself married to a handsome young man, with a delightful toddler – and FOUR Korean teenagers. A family had come out to South Africa from South Korea, to get an education here for their children, but the father was not able to leave their home country as he could not sell their property, and the mother ended up having to go home because of ill health. They were determined that their children (3 boys and 1 girl) should be able to stay. Having got to know Kaylianne and Vincent at Church, they approached them initially to help tutoring them in English. And then when the mother had to return home, they asked if the Zokufas would be willing to act as their guardians while the children stay to finish their studies. After talking and praying about the matter, it was agreed, and so last year, the family increased from one toddler, to one toddler plus four teenagers. These youngsters are Hosung (18), Hojin (16), Eun-jeong (16) and Dongjin (16). Hosung and Hojin are brothers. The other two are cousins to each other and to the two brothers.



VIncent, LJ, Kaylianne and Hosung



Now, just in case she thought of slacking off, Kaylianne is also teaching weekly seminary to her four teenagers, her younger sister and two other youth in the area.

A Woman of Faith

How and why is Kaylianne doing all this? Because they are Heavenly Father’s children. She can see the positive benefit of the Gospel in their lives, and feels the blessings. No matter what she does, Kaylianne is determined that she will only ever do what she loves. She must be passionate about it. And one thing that is very evident is how much she loves her family. She made the decision some time ago that work must stay at the work place. Her time at home is time to spend with her family. She has overcome a lot, and she is not going to sacrifice her most treasured possession – her family.

The first time I ever saw Kaylianne was at a Young Women in Excellence evening. For one of her 10-hour projects she had chosen to learn “The Living Christ – The Testimony of the Apostles” by heart. And that night she recited it. Not only was the reciting of that long document amazing, but there was a wonderful spirit present as she did it. She was very obviously expressing her love and reverence for the Saviour through this difficult project. This was at the time in her life when she was battling through her challenging youth, but her faith was a glowing, living thing. And that has remained the central feature of her life.





Elaine Ruck – A Deeply Spiritual, Slightly Crazy Entrepreneur

Elaine Ruck

Meeting this extremely responsible, “go-the-extra-mile” person that Elaine Ruck is now, you would be unlikely to imagine the child that she was.

A Childhood of Adventure

As a complete tomboy, Elaine’s childhood was “high adventure”. She was one of four children, growing up without television, but with the advantages of a close family. There was always someone to play with, and someone to fight with. The children in the family regularly had feuds amongst themselves, but under no circumstances would they allow anyone else to attack one of their siblings. Their regular activities included building forts in the back yard, performing “circus acts” on their bicycles, digging holes all over the back garden (deep enough to stand in and be hidden), having mud fights, and playing cricket, tennis and “stingers” in the road outside their home. They swam in the summer and winter. They led active, outdoor healthy lives.

When it came to school, Elaine admits to not being an A-student, but she was extremely sporty and fit. She made the Western Province team in softball in Std. 9 (grade11). In hockey, she regularly played 3 matches for school and club teams each Saturday.

The Gospel in Her Young Life

With this busy life, it seems difficult to imagine how Elaine managed to find time for, or interest in spiritual matters. And yet, when her father joined the Church when she was seven, she quickly gained her own testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel. She loved the Church, and as she grew up, despite loving partying, living the principles of the Gospel was something that came naturally. She couldn’t imagine how anyone could sacrifice what they had in terms of the Gospel, by going off the tracks. Early-morning seminary was a joy.

Discovering Her People Skills

When she left school at 18, she began working as a clerk for an insurance company – work that she found “mind-destroying”. But, by the time she was 20, despite having no knowledge or prior skills in the area of human relations or negotiations, she was running the union for the white-collar workers in the organization – representing 1000 people. Already her natural skills in dealing with people were coming to the fore. She may not have had any training, but she had enough savvy to put someone in place who knew how to deal with the administrative work, and then she got on dealing with the negotiating side. In her first negotiation, she was able to get a 17% pay increase for the members of the union – the highest the company had given in 40 years. One of her particular strengths in the position was in taking note of, and showing a personal interest in everyone – from the lowest ranking workers up.

Serving a Mission

At the age of 21, Elaine left the insurance company to go on a full-time mission. It was an especially good time for sister missionaries from Cape Town – there were 13 sisters on mission from the stake at the time. She served in the Johannesburg mission, which resulted in her serving in Bloemfontein (her favourite area on mission), Witbank, Pretoria, Edenvale, and Roodepoort (in the mission office). She arrived on her mission on Valentine’s Day, and considered that this was just typical of Heavenly Father’s sense of humour – finally putting her in a situation where the guys outnumbered the girls – and they had to keep them at arm’s length.

Her mission was a wonderful experience – if you don’t count the tracting. She loved teaching and serving, but this was the time in her life when she realized that “cold calling” was not her thing (as would be confirmed later in her life). Her experience with the gifts of the Spirit, and the constant inspiration in doing the Lord’s work, were a great source of strength to her, and helped to solidify her already strong testimony.

Back to Work in the World

After her mission, she returned to Johannesburg to work for five years. An indication of her interpersonal skills is that she got a job as a secretary despite being able to type only 19 words per minute, and failing the spelling test she was given.

After returning to Cape Town, she worked for a year as a project administrator, and then decided to leave there to set up a crafting business of her own. This was when it was confirmed to her that “cold calling” was not her strength. That was how she had to get business, and that was not where her strength lay. Needless to say, she realized that she needed to find herself another job, which she did. And there she stayed until she was retrenched five years later. But in those five years she had helped to grow the business from three employees to eleven.

After being retrenched, she set up business for herself again – but this time, in an area which has proved successful. No “cold calling” required. She isn’t selling anything but her knowledge, expertise and savvy, and there lies her strength. Elaine is a lateral thinker, and she can see a big picture when others are still trying to take a peek. This business, which is a consulting business and builds on all that she has learnt in her life and work experiences, spreads by word-of-mouth. What she does involves helping other people to use their own and their company’s resources and strengths most advantageously. She will look at a particular company and their functioning, and assess their strengths and weaknesses, and help them to be more productive. She looks at every aspect, including the kinds of things that she began noticing at the age of 20, when she was running the union. In other words, she notices not only the physical working conditions, but aspects of the workers themselves and their behaviour. She helps employers to be more aware of their employees, which makes for better efficiency and productivity in the company, and happier employees.

Her ability to notice things has resulted in her being able to go into newly completed buildings, and looking for all the “snags” – things which need to be fixed before the building gets handed over to the new owners.

Studies

At present, she is extending her ability to understand and help people, by studying psychology part time through the South African College of Applied Psychology. This is a very practical course, and can be very draining, as it demands a lot of time and effort, and also a considerable amount of introspection, and self-awareness.

Sarcoidosis

A very particular personal battle that Elaine has dealt with for the last seven years is sarcoidosis. This is an immune-mediated condition, and is very much affected by things like stress. It initially manifested in a chronic severe “bronchitis” and skin lesions for the first few years, and now is coming out with lumps under the skin. This has been an incredibly draining condition to battle, and treatment has not been simple or definite – she has tried both medical and holistic approaches.

Stake Employment Specialist

All of these challenges that Elaine has faced have fitted her up especially well for her current calling – Stake Employment Specialist. This is a calling about which she is passionate. In fact, if there is one thing that can get her emotional, it’s talking about this calling. The reason is that she really cares about the members, and what she can do to help them. But one of her frustrations is when other people don’t see the vision that she sees. She sees so much more than helping people get through an interview and land a job. She sees the individual and the challenges that are present in that person’s life, and in their family – sometimes because of a lack of work, and sometimes, preventing them from going out and getting work. She wants to find the obstacles that are in people’s paths, preventing them from getting employment and supporting themselves and their families. She sees it in this light: “This is the year of healing the broken hearted.” She wants to sit with people, one-on-one, and help to “take them to Christ”. It all works together. If someone can’t feed and clothe their family, it’s difficult for them to be committed to spiritual matters. But if they are committed to living the Gospel, they are more willing to apply faith and try the things that she suggests.

She has seen miracles happen in this calling. She felt that she needed to tell one man that although he couldn’t get a proper job, he should take an opportunity to work for nothing. It would keep his skill up and he would feel better about himself. He did this, and within a week, the employer started to pay him, and he now has a permanent job. A woman who had been receiving welfare from the Church, and was very negative about her possibilities of getting a job to support her children, finally took the leap of faith that Elaine suggested, and now is gainfully employed. And there have been many others that she has helped – helped to help themselves. That is important. The fact that each person is responsible for helping themselves, and taking what steps they can improve their circumstances.

A delightful, outgoing, decidedly crazy person to be with, Elaine has great depth that she would laugh at anyone suggesting she might have. Her family of nieces and nephews are very special to her, and thoroughly spoilt by her, given half a chance. What a privilege to know her.

Elaine and the one man who gives her no headaches

Jennifer Morris – An Organized and Creative Young Mother

Grant and Jenny Morris

Attractive young wife and mother, Jenny (Powrie) Morris, grew up in Cape Town, although she now lives in England and is soon going on to New Zealand. This is a very busy young woman, whose life is lived with passion. Some of that passion is in an area that perhaps many people would not identify with, and yet might wish we all shared. The good news is that Jenny is a giver – she loves to share her passion and talents with others.

Depression Overcome

Jenny and her husband, Grant, moved to the UK 15 years ago. Moving countries is never an easy thing, and Jenny already suffered from depression. This illness was still to dog her for some time, most especially after each of her two sons, Daniel (9) and Noah (6), were born. Anyone who has suffered from depression will know that this is a debilitating illness – so much more than just “the blues”. Antidepressants helped, but with unacceptable side-effects. Five years ago, Jenny decided to try the Omega oils and Vitamin D (the Vitamin D being in an attempt to counter the effect of lack of sunshine in England) – and for Jenny this combination has worked. (I must just add a rider here that this alone is not necessarily the case for everyone. But for Jenny, these over-the-counter supplements have worked wonders.) The result has been a newfound happiness and purpose in living. Frequently she finds herself delighting in the simple joy of living her life. 

Jenny, Grant, Noah and Daniel

Photography

When her older son, Daniel was a toddler, she decided to set about the process of learning something she had always wanted to do – photography. She taught herself with a film camera (as opposed to digital) and a book. And her creativity shone through. Before long she was able to set up a business at home as a portrait photographer. She continued this with creativity and flair for some time, but then one of her other passions surfaced – Food. And she began photographing food. One of the pleasures she found in photographing food, is that it is so cooperative – It doesn’t move or argue, and it can be put where and how she, the photographer, chooses. One of the problems with photography in a country with a lot of grey skies is the lack of natural light. So, Jenny finds it a pleasure that the food that she is photographing is something that is easy to move to get the best natural light.  Here is a great link to her blog about the art of photographing food - http://jengrantmorris.blogspot.com/2011/01/food-photography.html  There is so much more to it than simply "point and snap".

Food

This next passion in her life was able to occupy her more than just from the point of using her skills as a photographer. It could satisfy her in terms of bringing pleasure and delight to others. She loves to bake and send her goodies to work with her husband, Grant, who is a policeman. When he gets home, she wants a blow-by-blow, bite-by-bite account of his colleagues’ responses to the munchies. In fact, he has a camera at work, and she has him take pictures of his friends as they bite into her delectable morsels. She enjoys knowing that they enjoy what she has made. No need to wonder whether or not she must be one of the most popular police wives around. One would expect that she must be the most popular mom in town too. She says her younger son, Noah, is the “cake monster” and that he loves to eat what she bakes. But Daniel would rather eat a stick of celery. Children are the most interesting puzzle. Perhaps we aren’t really meant to understand them.

It is perhaps only natural that Jenny would want to take her enjoyment in sharing what she bakes with others to the next level. She has just had a recipe book published as an e-book – a compilation of delicious recipes that she enjoys baking. Naturally, each recipe is accompanied by an artistic photograph of the baked delectable. Turn to this link: a thousand words: Sweet Things recipe e-book and you will get a little taste of what this clever lady has put together.

The Organizer

Now we come to the particular talent and passion which Jenny has, which I think is rather unique. Take Jenny into a room which is filled with nothing but chaos, a room that you can barely walk into, and her eyes light up as though she has just been given the greatest of all gifts. Most people groan when they see this kind of mess. Not Jenny. This is like Christmas to her. Since they got married 15 years ago, Grant and Jenny have moved house 13 times. And the reason is largely because Jenny loves to organize. In fact as she put it – she gets to a point where she has “organized her home to death”. And then she gets restless – and starts to look around for something else to organize. And so this has frequently meant moving home, finding somewhere else to fix up and organize.

But a couple of years ago, she decided to try employing this passion to help other people. This was at the stage that she came to the realisation that not everyone sees organizing in the same light that she does. She realised that most people actually have some feelings of guilt over the clutter and untidiness in their homes, and really can’t face the idea of getting stuck in and sorting it all out – no matter how often they say : “I really need to sort some things out.” And so, just as a voluntary “gift” to some friends, she helped them get started. And now she has a number of glowing testimonials about the blessing that she has been in their lives. Have a look at these blog posts of hers showing some of this work: http://jengrantmorris.blogspot.com/2009/06/lauras-study.html  http://jengrantmorris.blogspot.com/2009/06/lauras-shed.html

Plans for Future Opportunities

Now, with the prospect of moving to New Zealand, Jenny has determined on plans for starting three different businesses. The first will be her “organizing” as a business. In New Zealand, there is a body called the Professional Organizers’ Association, which she plans on joining. Evidently this is an association who do just the kind of thing that Jenny does. She plans on calling her business “Neat Ideas”, and hopes to be able to, apart from anything else, run workshops on topics like De-cluttering, and Finding Space. Listening to Jenny on this topic, one cannot believe that anyone can get so excited about helping people to organize their homes, but she really is excited about it – passionate about it.

The next business that she wants to run, takes her back to her photography – she wants to do infant photography. And then, finally, she wants to continue with her baking – supplying a shop that will sell for her.

This is definitely not an idle young lady, and she loves to give. She has great drive, and things that have become important to her include the fact of always finding a way to do what she wants to do – “Never say never.” To her it’s essential to get on and Do things, and not to drift. She asks herself questions like: “Is this where I want to be? Where do I want to go?” This positive attitude is typical of Jenny. She fought off her depression, and she is making something great with her life. Her talents are passions, great loves, in her life – and she makes them work for her.

Jenny, Daniel and Noah

Her family is central to her life – her husband and her two sons. They were sealed in the Temple, and have the promise of Eternal Life together.

Grant, Daniel and Noah